It’s the time of the year when new kids from college start joining their first companies. It’s a nice time for us old hands to watch the enthu of the greenhorns. Over the past 3 years, I have seen supreme enthu levels from quite a few faschas.
Usually- after around 6 months- these kids start settling down. They understand a little bit of how things work and for some reason begin to believe they are really important. Over multiple sessions I have heard comments like
“You know if I leave today, the whole work will come to a stop. I am the only guy who knows area X”
“My manager is completely dependent on me, without me there is no way this product will ship”
” My VP personally told me I am critical to the company”
” My leaving might affect the stock price of my company”
Let me share this secret with those of you who are entering our world.
You don’t count!
Do not believe that you really decide the fate of the company and thereby the world! Yes even if your VP told you that personally you dodo.
Like Gandhi’s mantra- always keep asking yourself this
“If I die in a gruesome accident today- Will my company declare bankruptcy ? Will my lead not be able to feed his kids as a result of that? ”
Surprise! The answer to both is NO!
The company survived without you, and it will continue after you. And after your kids too.
So, with that out of the way- Come in- Have fun , enjoy the party, learn. And don’t ever tell me how important you are to your company. Ok?
– Just spoke to a hyper enthu intern who said some of the above comments. Frustration rebounds.
Filed under: gyan | 14 Comments
IPL over, time available on hand. What does one do except come up with or collect PJ’s ? Here are the latest ones for your frustrating pleasure
Q- 4 MBA students head out every evening. They find some random innocent guy and thrash him up black and blue. Then one of them takes out a bell from his pocket and rings it once. After that all the students run away.
What were they doing?
Ans: They were “mar” “ke” “ting”.
Q- There was this guy who had this unique ability. Every women he met, he could make her go to bed with him in no time at all. How was he able to do this?
Ans: He was a layman
Yet again, best of luck
Filed under: stupidity | 11 Comments
Frustrated after watching Mumbai loose. Attempting to transfer the frustration to others.
1- Why is the free source movement very slow?
Ans- Because it is headed by Stall Man.
2- Why are there no kids on Mars?
Ans- Because, men are from Mars but women are from Venus
3- Why is NASA gay?
Ans- Because- It knows men are from Mars but still wants to explore only Mars.
4- Why was the Arian (sun sign) man very slow?
Ans- Because he was low on Ram
5- What do you call a soldiers wife climbing the stairs ?
Ans- Chadhti Jawan-i
Best of luck 🙂
Filed under: PJ | 13 Comments
Recent wtf conversation in office
R- Hey J ! You didn’t reply to my mail
J- Haven’t read mail yet today- but which one?
R-The one I just sent
J- Oh ok , that one!
sidenote: I have become J in office 😦
Filed under: stupidity | 6 Comments
Back when I was in school, evenings were usually dedicated to badminton. Since all schools ended at the same time as mine, it was a race to get to the court before everyone else. A few minutes difference could mean a wait of an hour.
Inspite of all the running, there usually were about 30 kids who would turn up to play in the two available courts. Usually who got to play was decided by “Round Robin” where the best were separated from the rest. Court time was a scarce commodity and could be bartered for precious gifts.
It was free for us defence kids but everyone respected the dress code. Everyone would wear knee length socks and neat polished shoes. Playing barefoot or in heels was unthinkable.
Fast forward to 2008. I join Jayabheri club forking out a tidy sum. Place has good wooden courts, airconditioned too. Perfect.
Except no one turns up.
Club supposedly has 180 members. In the past 1 month, I have seen about 20 unique people all together!
I have seen people play barefoot, seen them playing in the latest Levi’s. Imagine a guy driving up in an Accord and then proceeding to play barefoot 😦 . Shatters many a romantic notions of the gentlemans game.
But anyway, yesterday was probably as low as I ever wanted to go. Turned up at 7 sharp all sprightly.
3 8 year old kids playing 😦 . Watched them play for a few minutes. 5-10-15-20-25-30. At which point of time one of the kids took pity on me and comes over and says
“Uncle will you play with us ? ”
And desparate as I was for my game, I played with them :(. ( FWIW they were probably playing for the first time) .
Saving grace was that a few people did turn up after the first game with the kids..but still..
Filed under: Uncategorized | 6 Comments
Q:Who has the most frequent flier points in the world ?
Answer: Clark Kent
Filed under: stupidity | 7 Comments
Whats the most immediate reaction on reading the below? I am conducting a small survey.The I in the story can be assumed to be me.
“The other night I was walking along the beach, hand in hand with my girlfriends. Suddenly this huge f**ing space saucer came along and zapped me up into its belly. There were all sorts of lights and gizmos flashing and loud beeping sounds all over the place. I lost track of time except to realize that it was a very long time. Finally after what seemed like an eternity they zapped me back to earth.”
Filed under: Uncategorized | 19 Comments